Naoko’s Trans Log

Hello! It has been a while since I have written here. I mush say I have been quite discouraged from writing since my last posts are more rants and recollection rather than structured thoughts, stories, and opinions. Additionally, I have realized I share a lot in this blog, which is meant for my experience as a woman pertaining to a variety of identities and going through multiple experiences. I am supposed to write interesting and well collected stories from my life, not recaps after a couple months which read more like diary entries. For this last reason, I have started to journal, privately, I will recollect my experiences during the day, or whenever I remember, and from there, source material for the blog. I will write better pieces with the aim to share a bit of my experience, just not everything. I want to take a moment and go through a couple of topics I would like to write about here. One I am very excited to share is my story with computers. How I began using very crappy laptop...

I am not doing well again, and this is my best effort to put it all to words. I have been struggling with school assignments, I am feeling depressed again, and feel a lot of chronic pain. The saddening began after finishing my big watch project. I was yet to present my watch design to the company board, and tried to prepare the best I could. I could barely keep myself without shaking and crying and when it was time to present I could not properly follow my planned outline. I couldn’t stop stuttering and looking at the floor. I was stopped and called out by my low volume by the CEO, something I was warned would happen. At some point we crossed gazes and he immediately scoffed loudly, looking away and shaking his head. I couldn’t look at the rest of the room, but I knew I was letting people down. Other classmates had amazing designs too, yet somehow I was picked. After it was done, I felt relieved, but also overwhelmed by the many assignments I had neglected from focusing too much on one...

[December 16th, 2025] It has been a while since my last post, so much has happened since, I don’t think I could come up with words to explain just how much my life has changed, for the better. I’ve never felt happier than now, meeting my girlfriend was the best thing that could have happened. I have loved every second I’ve been with her, every text and call, and I only wish I could spend more time with her, however, school has been very demanding lately. This past semester was the first of my junior year and ever since my first day I knew that in this semester we would collaborate with a real watch company; I already knew it was a lot of work, but never imagined just how much and how realistic to a real job it would be. The a small team from the watch company came to our classroom one day, everyone knew to be in early. They presented the brand we were going to design for and gave us the design brief, an outline of what we had to do, as well as tools such as brand motifs a.k.a. codes an...